F E E L

In my rawness, I attend to thee.
I am not quite sure of myself
and I am not quite sure of this void within me.
I praise thee and kneel before thee.
Yet, I hear no declaration
and so I turn to my solace and prepare myself to drawn within it.
I question this emptiness that blanks out pages of what is yet to fall upon me.
So I think to myself “This is the end or so it seems.”
Yet somehow my existence carries onto the unforeseen
and I become free of emotion and all else that contains me.
I am dying of this numbness and wandering hopelessly in my prayers
for search of who I was and where I have lost myself.
I need to gather me and my remnants,
so I can be whole again that laughs, weeps and feels.
These words that I write shall bear no meaning until that time comes.
This ‘here’ and this ‘now’ shall not matter until I feel again.
Make me feel...

11 January 2009

C E A S E

Cease that what is now...
cease provoking your soul.
God up above has a funny feeling about this Asima.
God, I no longer feel your gentle hand above my head.
I don’t see your shelter that had covered me from all else.
Why do you frown upon me while I have been a little girl?
What bad is there in the good I feel?
I question my integrity every day and think of you seldom.
I have failed to exist shamelessly
and for what cause do I repent?
Cease that what is now...
cease provoking your mind.
I have sparkles in my eyes
and you will see the rainbow colours in my smile.
I paint my cheeks petal-pink
and my lips’ colour is that of crimson red.
Then why do I see a colourless canvas in front of me?
I let myself fall through the chasms of hope
only to find you at the bottom of each disappointment
and I am reminded time and again that you will always be there.
Cease that what is now...
cease provoking your heart.
I walk among the crowd of those who have fallen for me.
They keep falling and withering away for me,
playing with my broken strings
and my symphonies are their perfect songs.
Yet I am without love
with no one to take what I have to give.
Who do I fall for and who do I wither for?
And so in my despair I turn to you and in my despair I rebel against you.
Here is where I begin and here is where I end.
In your abode is where I come to life
and in your abode is where I cease to exist.
Everything then ceases to be...

08 January 2009 - 10 January 2009